My mother has this expression – Bozo’s on the Bus– something she says when you just follow along with the what the majority do. “They are just Bozo’s on the bus getting Hormone Replacement Therapy because some doctor prescribed it”. Eating margarine. Circumcision. Statins. Flu jabs. Taking your son to a rugby fixture in the pissing January rain in England.
Yes, we did this. And yes, she called us Bozo’s.
Prologue.
This past January, wishing to go along with the school sports curriculum, to be a team player and for our child NOT to be warped by watching Youtube videos on his iPad, we took Aiden to the school Rugby fixture. The temperature was about 10°C and it was pouring rain. English parents were sporting their Hunter wellies, umbrellas the size of small cars and various other waterproof gear. The North Americans hid out under a sparse patch of trees for shelters and shivered. We were the bozo’s on the bus.
When I commented on the ridiculousness of this situation to the crowd I got a common, “Ahhh…..It’s the English way!” and a laughed off “Welcome to Rugby in January – a tradition!”. Well I’m sorry, but I am giving the middle finger to the English way this time. The kids were soaked. We were cold. It was not fun. The siblings were pissy and (some of) the parents could think of a much better way to spend their Saturday.
(Admittedly, the English might think the same of getting up at 0600 to drive to a cold hockey rink, and they might be right).
The game was played. Some fun was had dancing on the sidelines with his mates (he was not in the starting line up…). But take a look at Aiden’s picture. It makes me cringe. It’s pitiful. It’s a snapshot of a parenting fail. He doesn’t love Rugby. He especially doesn’t like it in the rain. He is a sweet and silly boy without an aggressive bone in his body. He likes fart jokes and all things poo.
Aiden and I made a deal after this game. He will do his best at games whilst at school, but we can skip the weekend fixtures if we so choose. So this Saturday a few months later, I am being spared the 2.5 hour cricket match (still only 12°C) and the kids are being warped by their iPads. I hope this doesn’t mean they will live in our basement forever lacking life goals and drive, but I’m taking the risk.
Sports are akin to religion in this country, probably more popular. Everybody has a team they follow – football, rugby, cricket. BBC Radio 4 gives equal airtime to Brexit negotiations as they do to which football coach was just sacked. There is a petition in parliament right now to allow Premier League and Championship football clubs to introduce safe standing (rail seating), so fans can have the choice between sitting and standing at football matches. For real.
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/207040
It is not all bad though. Some things are done very well like the tradition of tea after the game with the opposing team. I am not talking about a Bear Paws some poor mother had to drag to soccer pitch. I am talking about tea as in a full hot lunch for the kids, and sometimes for the parents. Sandwiches, cakes, sausage rolls, biscuits, coffee and tea. Look at us mums dig in.
Fam jam update: The blog has been dead this long, cold, wet winter. It has taken us a full six months to acclimatize and settle in here. And it is still a process. Some good days, some shit ones. I started a few blogs that were all negative so I binned them, and I am finally getting back to it.
The dew is off the roses at my job and the best thing about it these days is the car. Some of the people I care for and were learning from have left the business, some not by choice. It sucks.
We did a very English thing and went to Lanzarote in the Canary Islands for a week during the kids (long) three week Spring break and it was fantastic. We finally felt up for a bigger trip. Kids had a great time. Only one episode of vomiting and no emergency department visits, which I am calling a win for us. Some other trips are in the works.
Note: Italics for my new English lingo.
Coming soon: 101 definitions of what tea entails here.
